What's New

My posts lately have been more pictures and "fluff" and I haven't really talked about what's going on in our lives. So, whether you want it or not, here it goes!

*Jack is currently in summer school through the school district's special education program. He LOVES it. He loves school. He loves his teachers and his friends. He loves the bus. We have no doubt in our minds that putting him in this program was the right decision. He will start the regular school year in September and will most likely have the same teacher as last year...which we are super excited about. He'll be in preschool another year and then we will need to make the decision if we want him going to kindergarten or waiting another year.

*Jack is also currently on a waiting list for an autism evaluation with Fraser Child & Family Center in Minneapolis. Their wait list is forever long and he probably won't get in until the end of fall or beginning of winter. We are looking forward to this opportunity, though. It will provide a medical diagnosis for Jack and also will help refer us to other therapies that will help him (and us).

*Autism is something we never thought we'd have to deal with, and now we are becoming very familiar with it. Having Jack diagnosed by the school district was not an easy decision and not one that we came to lightly. However, the help that we've received from the school has been wonderful and we know that we've made the right decision. Jack has learned A LOT at school and we are all learning how to cope. Our days are very difficult, but we are learning how to deal with things. Life with Jack is stressful. Life with any 3 (almost 4) year old is stressful, but we are also working through a lot of speech, emotional and cognitive behaviors that just aren't typical. We know that God has made us Jack's parents for a reason. We believe that one reason is to shape us into better people. Jack requires us to use some of the qualities that we lack the most in - patience being #1.

*Lonnie's work is going well. He works from home and we've figured out how to make this work for us! It's been a wonderful thing having him work at home and I've become spoiled. When something in the house breaks, I don't have to wait for him to get home from work...I can just bug him in the middle of the day!

*I am becoming more involved with MOPS and I love it. I am going to be on the "Steering Team" next year and I am excited for the opportunity to work with other moms in our community. I am looking forward to strengthening friendships and meeting new people.

*Lonnie and I were able to go to Kansas City at the end of June - ALONE! Lonnie's mom flew out to watch Jack for the week and we drove to KS. Lonnie was scheduled to go there for a business trip, so I was happy to have the opportunity to tag along. We enjoyed quiet dinners, quiet drives and quiet nights. It was quiet. We could have adult conversation when we wanted to. We could go to bed late and wake up late (7 am IS late in our world). I was able to swim in the pool and lay out by myself. It was fabulous. Of course, we were anxious to get home and be with Jack again. But, our time away was priceless. I would encourage any couple with young kids to do everything they possibly can to get some overnight time away as a couple.

That's about it! We are enjoying summer and all that is has to offer. We've been to the water park several times, we picked strawberries, we've been to the park many times, and are soaking up the warmer weather. Of course, as I type this, it's thundering and raining outside...but who doesn't love a good summer storm?

Grandma & Grandpa

Last week, Grandma and Grandpa (Lonnie's parents) came for a visit! Unfortunately, I forgot to take our camera with us most places, so we didn't get too many pictures. But, we had a lot of fun visiting with them! Jack had a blast being spoiled and loved on.

Nana's Visit!

Nana and Mr. Cheeky playing on the floor.

I wish this picture would've turned out better! Jack is singing Smashmouth's "Allstar" song at the Children's Museum.

Learning how to use crutches. I'm sure this skill will come in handy at some point down the road.

Getting ready to roll a ball down the ramp.

Sliding.

Looking at fish with Nana.

What We've Been Doing

Painting (everything in sight)

Figuring out what can be turned into a "pool."

Playing on firetrucks.

Sitting in firetrucks.

Blowing bubbles in milkshakes and laughing about it.

Watching a parade (on the 4th)

Being fabulous.

Learning how to be fabulous from daddy.

Washing the new car (truck, SUV, whatever...)

Throwing tantrums when it's time to go inside!

On the plane, on the way to Phoenix. The headphones stayed on for about 45 seconds.

At the park by Auntie Nan & Uncle Josh's house. (My deepest, most sincere apologies to the woman in the background. I don't know who you are, but this was one of the only decent pictures of Jack at the park. My husband was taking pictures. Again, I am sorry. I hope you never know this picture exists.)

Nana and Jack at the pool at Nana & Chuck's condo.

Shanna with the biggest slice of pizza EVER.

Pooped.

Uncle Josh & Jack at the piano at Mimi & Papa's (my grandparents') house.

NOW - Right about here is where I thought about posting some pictures taken the night before my mom and Chuck's wedding. My better judgement said not to. Let's just say that some people had a little bit much to drink and the photos weren't exactly flattering. Lots of half-closed eyes and wobbly smiles. So....we'll just keep those in the family.

Do you see my boogie?

"Adult Time" at The Cheesecake Factory with Josh & Shanna.

They're just too cute.

Also, I need to apologize to my mom and Chuck. We did not get one good picture of them together. All of our pictures of the two of them were either taken on the night-we-shall-not-speak-of or they were taken when my mom didn't have any makeup on...and I don't think she'd appreciate the internets seeing her without makeup on.

There's our vacation pictures in a nutshell! I wish we could've gotten some of the wedding ceremony, but Lonnie was busy keeping Jack out of trouble and I was busy melting in the sun with the rest of the participants.

When is Jack going to be a big brother???

We get this question sometimes. And, I'm sure that as Jack gets older we'll be getting it more often. This could be a fairly simple question to answer for most people. For us, it's not so simple. We want Jack to be a big brother. It's something we pray for all of the time. But, we are not able to "make" Jack a big brother right now. We are struggling with secondary infertility - something that affects over 3 million Americans.*

Secondary infertility is defined as the inability to become pregnant, or carry a pregnancy to term, following the birth of one or more biological children.* We conceived Jack through the assistance of fertility drugs after a year of "trying." We were very fortunate to get pregnant with Jack. I (Stephanie) have a fairly common medical condition that prevents me from ovulating and getting pregnant. Without fertility drugs or procedures, our chances of conceiving naturally are very, very slim.

We recently decided to once again pursue treatment for infertility. Unfortunately, the fertility drugs did not do what they were supposed to do during the time that we used them. We prayed about what to do. Continue treatments or put them on hold? We both felt that it was the "right" decision to stop treatments. I say "right" decision, because it's a decision that will never feel right...it's one of the hardest decisions we've had to make. There are several reasons for that decision...one is financial. Although you hate to put a price on having a baby, our current financial situation just doesn't allow us to pursue more extensive treatments. We want to be wise with our finances (after years of being not-so-wise) and feel that it is important to be able to afford treatments. Especially now that we have Jack depending on us - we need to be financially secure for him as well. Another reason for stopping treatment is the emotional toll that it has taken on us, both individually and as a couple. You can't imagine the emotional rollercoaster that infertility puts you on until you've been there yourself. It's one disappointment after another. We've gone through so many ups and downs, and we're back where we started.

We want Jack to be a big brother. I want him to have a playmate, to have someone to share secrets with and someone to get in trouble with. I want him to be able to give his sibling that "look" and they'll know what the other is thinking without saying anything. I want him to be able to roll his eyes to his sibling about something I've said or done. I want him to know the love of a brother or sister. I want him to grow up knowing that there's someone else in this world who went through the same exact things growing up and understands him a little better because of that. I want him to have someone to stay up late with. Someone to sleep under the Christmas tree with. Someone to share a room with.

Since we've come to the decision of not pursuing infertility treatments, watching Jack grow up has become more bitter than sweet. Where I was once excited about his milestones, I find that I am more sad about them. I don't want to take him out of his crib. I don't want to throw the pacifiers away. I don't want him to stop mispronouncing words. I don't want him to go to school so soon. Coming to terms with the fact that he might be my only baby is difficult. I took for granted the thought that we would have multiple children.

In the meantime, we pray. We pray about where God is leading us next and for strength through the journey. Right now, I am grieving the death of a dream. While it may come true someday, and we don't know what God has in store for us down the road, we are sad for what we've lost for the time being. Our reality is much different than our dreams. But, God's plans are bigger than our own.

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.
'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

*Taken from http://www.resolve.org/.

Please take time to visit the RESOLVE website and read these articles:

Secondary Infertility

Infertility Etiquette

Christmas recap and other "big" news

I figured it was about time I posted about Christmas since it's been almost a week! Oops.

Christmas was great. Instead of boring you with details, I'll just give you a quick run-down of how the day went. We were able to spend Christmas morning at home, just the 3 of us and eat cinnamon rolls, open presents and hang out together. After that, we left to go to the airport to meet my dad, who was flying in from Iraq. After the airport, we drove to my dad's wife's family get-together and spent the afternoon there. Jack enjoyed opening presents ALL day long and got some really great gifts. THANK YOU to everyone. We missed the family that we couldn't be with very much. Here are some pictures....

Slide from mommy & daddy

"Jack-a-roo" Teddy Bear from Nana (it had her voice recorded on it)

"Cars" Quilt for his bed from Grandma

Waiting at the airport (the only picture we have of him in his "suit." Ugh.)

Opening presents with Abuelo (Abeeyo)

He got very tired.

For the other "big" news...Jack has moved his way up into a big boy bed. The night after Christmas we made the transition and it has been rough. He has slept great at night for two nights in a row, but refuses to nap in it. Hopefully that will change with time.