Oooooh.....HI!!!

Well hello there, bloggy land! Being at home over the summer with an incredibly demanding 4 year old leaves VERY LITTLE time to blog. Let alone very little time to pee by yourself. Haha...who am I kidding. Every mom knows that you never get to pee by yourself when you have little kids at home.

Jack started his second year of special education preschool this Monday. And I could not be more excited. Neither could he. He loves school, loves his teacher, and LOVES the bus. All he talks about is the bus. When I ask him how his day was at school, he talks to me about the bus. When I ask him who he played with at school, he tells me about the bus. When I try to find out what he had for a snack today, he goes on and on about the bus.

Jack had an autism evaluation in the beginning of September. It went really well and we really liked the psychologists we met with. Long story short, we walked away with a medical diagnosis of autism. Hearing that comes with a lot of mixed emotions. On one hand, we were relieved that they saw "it" too...that we weren't crazy and we aren't just bad parents. On the other hand, it's never easy to hear that your child will have extraordinary challenges throughout life and that there's something that makes them "different" from all of the other kids. The word "AUTISM" just never seems to lose it's weight. On that day, it hit us like a ton of bricks. They suggested that Jack receive clinical speech therapy and occupational therapy. So, we have an appointment at the end of this month with a pediatric rehabilitation center that offers speech and occupational therapies. They will do another evaluation, to see how much therapy he'll need and then we'll go from there. We'll be driving about an hour to each appointment...so I'm not looking forward to that, but I would drive much further than that if it meant doing something that helped Jack!

More Jack news - he has his first dentist appointment this afternoon. Yikes! I'll take pictures and share how that went. I am praying that we both hold it together and can reward ourselves with some Starbucks when it's all said and done.

My FABULOUS husband surprised me for my birthday (29....ahem) and got me a first-class ticket to visit friends in Sacramento. I am so excited to spend time with girlfriends and have a chance to relax. I also think that the time Jack and Lonnie spend together will be good for them. They'll have fun just being boys and hanging out while mom's gone.

Speaking of my fabulous husband - he decided a couple of months ago to take up running and start eating healthier. He has been doing awesome and I am so proud of him. Check out his running blog here - Fat People Run Too!

This year, I am involved with our local MOPS group as the Hospitality Coordinator. Yesterday was our first meeting and it was crazy! Crazy, but absolutely wonderful. It has been so much fun to prepare the theme, decor and "feeling" of the room this year. We went with a spa/relaxing-type theme and it is wonderful. I love all of the ladies that I am serving with and I am excited to be a part of this ministry.

Speaking of ministry - Lonnie and I are currently involved in starting up a new church in our city! It is called NewLife, and it's a campus of LifeChurch in Oklahoma City. It is involving a lot of time, energy and prayer...but it is exciting to see what God is doing here.

Do you see why it's been a challenge to update this thing? Life has been a little crazy around here! Hopefully with Jack in school, I'll have a little extra time to dedicate to the blog. Hopefully.

A Moment of Awe

As I was unloading the groceries the other day (one of my least favorite jobs), I was awe-struck. I am amazed at how God continues to provide for our needs...and how often we fail to realize that. It is so easy to complain about what He doesn't provide, that we fail to recognize all that He does provide. I have the ability to drive my vehicle to the grocery store, walk through the aisles, pick out what I "need" and purchase them with cash and make meals for my family.

We've recently cut waaaaaay back on our "eating out" budget and that is a big deal for us. We enjoy eating out and sometimes eating at home just isn't as fun. But we know that we need to be good stewards of our finances...and spending $20 on mediocre food (when we could have the same meal...much healthier and tastier at home for a fraction of the cost) just isn't accomplishing that goal. I spent quite a bit of time coming up with yummy menus that we would enjoy eating...but that were also low-cost. Sometimes this feels like a horrible chore to me. I would much rather just buy what I want from the store without having to think about cost or the budget. I grumble and complain about having to watch what I spend and what store I have to spend it at. Way.Too.Often.

Back to my moment of awe - as I was unloading bags and bags of groceries, I was brought to tears by God's goodness. His grace and mercy. I've been doing a Bible study at church on the life of David and we've been talking about having a "Who am I?" moment with God. A moment when you stop and ask God, "Who am I? That you have blessed me and my family so much?" (2 Samuel 7:18) Last week we were asked to recollect a time when we've had one of those moments...and I couldn't think of anything...which made me sad...and upset that I haven't stopped enough to recognize what God has done for me. So, on Monday, God gave me one of those moments. It's such a small thing - groceries. Something we almost always take for granted. But as I watched my pantry, refrigerator and freezer get filled up I asked, "Who am I?" While there are families all over the world - in my community and across the globe - not able to provide food for their family's next meal, God has graciously given us the resources to have more food than we'll ever need. He is good!

Through the Years

I saw this link - http://yearbookyourself.com on another blog and just had to try it out. It's too funny!

1958 - I like my hair.

1968 - The turtleneck makes me itch just thinking about it.

1978 - Don't ask me how I got my hair to do this. It's just natural.

1988 - What I'd look like if I gained another 20 lbs. (and feathered my hair)

1998 - the year I graduated - Yep, pretty accurate!

In Limbo

Yesterday there was a baby dedication at church. At the last baby dedication (a couple of months ago) I had to leave the sanctuary and go sob in the bathroom. It just HURTS to see so many families with babies....when I want one so badly. And most of the families that are having babies dedicated are just that - families. More than one child. I know, I know, we're a family too. But doesn't it seem like a family is much more of a family when there's more than one kid?

Well, at yesterday's dedication, I made it through most of the thing without shedding a tear. But, then one found its way down my cheek. And another. And another. And, before I knew it - I was once again running to the bathroom to sob. I wish they would announce these things the week before so I could avoid them altogether and stop making a scene.

I hate being at this in-between stage. I am not infertile...because I have a child. I have what so many people struggling with infertility would die for. I have a child. I am caught between the world of raising a child and the world of infertility. I struggle with all of the typical child-rearing issues and then I am also dealing with the stresses of not being able to have anymore children.

I wish I could spout off a bunch of "spiritual" things that would make me seem like a much better person. Like, "I trust that all of this is designed to glorify the Lord." Or, "I trust that God knows what He's doing." Or, "His timing is always better than our own." But, I'm not there right now. Oh, I say those things to a lot of people - but I don't think I truly mean them. If I didn't say those things, then I am afraid of appearing to be a "bad Christian." And I logically know that that's not true...that we are supposed to be transparent and honest with those that love us and love the Lord. I guess I'm just not ready to open the flood gate of emotions to people that I don't really know that well.

I feel like we're also in-between two worlds because we're not seeking treatment for our infertility issues right now. We're just doing a whole lot of nothing...waiting for nature (haha) to take its course. So, I don't really feel like I fit in with the people who are going through IUIs, IVFs, injections and hormones galore. But, I don't fit in with the people who can get pregnant at the drop of a hat. I am stuck in the middle.

Sorry to be such a "Debbie Downer." I just need somewhere to get this out.

(Not) By the Book

I have always had an issue with parenting books. It's not that I don't like them....the problem is that I love them. I read A LOT of them. I have ever since I was pregnant. And, the real problem comes in because I don't know how to take what I need out of the book and forget about the rest. I tend to take it all to heart and try to follow every letter. This becomes a big problem. Especially because every "expert" has a different approach to "fixing" your child. I am horribly inconsistent with discipline and structure. I am constantly questioning myself and my actions.

I had an epiphany this weekend.

First, I realized that it's not my job to "fix" Jack. He is a unique individual and I can't change who he is. Yes, it is our job to "train [him] in the way he should go" (Proverbs 22:6), but it is not our job to force him into the mold of who our ideal child should be. I struggle with this because Jack and I have different personalities - or maybe our personalities are too similar. Either way, I am beginning to understand that life will be a little bit easier if I stop trying to fix my son and learn to accept him the way he is.

Second, the pacifier is back. Hallelujah, we can all sleep again! Jack took a 2 hour nap yesterday and slept 12 hours last night (8 pm - 8 am). I am so much more relaxed and Jack is in such a better mood. I (we) debated about giving him back his pacifier for quite awhile. I was worried that it would make me a "bad" mom and that I would be viewed as a "push-over." Well, after a good night's rest and a happier child...I don't care anymore! I don't care what "they" say in regards to this. I made a decision based on my mommy-instinct and it has been the right one for our family.

Looking Back

Excuse me while I get all sentimental...

Last Pregnant Picture:

Newborn:

One Year Old:

Two Years Old

Three Years Old:

All My Byself

My mom will appreciate the title. It's how I used to say "all by myself" as a toddler.

I made spaghetti sauce yesterday...all my byself. I made my own recipe. I browsed a few online and mashed them all together to make my own. And....it was delicious!!! I was so proud of myself. If you're interested, here's the recipe!


Stephanie's Spaghetti Sauce

1 onion, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 (6 oz.) can tomato paste
2 (14.5 oz.) cans diced tomatoes
1 (15 oz.) can tomato sauce
1 chicken bouillon cube
1 beef bouillon cube
3/4 c. water
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper
1 bay leaf
fresh basil (optional)

Sautee onions and garlic in olive oil (onions first for a few minutes, then garlic) until onions are translucent. Add tomato paste and mix with the veggies for a minute. Add diced tomatoes and tomato sauce. Stir. Add bouillon cubes, water, salt, pepper and bay leaf. Let sauce simmer for a couple of hours. Mix in fresh basil. Enjoy!

How Potty-Training Is Going...

Mommy: "Jack! Do you want to go potty?" (Said as enthusiastically as possible)

Jack: "No!"

Mommy: "Come on! Let's go potty on the toilet!!!" (Yippee!!!)

Jack: "Nooooo!"

Mommy: "Let's go potty on the toilet like a BIG BOY!!! Yay!!!" (This is SO exciting!!!)

Jack: "Nooooooooo!!!! Noooooooo!!!!!" (Throws himself on the floor)

Mommy: "JACK." (said a little less enthusiastically) "We're going potty. Now."

Jack: "Nooooooooooo!!!! Noooooooooo!!!!! Nooooooooooooooo!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

Mommy: "Fine."

Thank you, Dora & Diego

Thank you, Dora & Diego. This morning, I was able to take a shower, shave my legs and put make up on without being disturbed. Not even once. All thanks to you guys. As an added bonus, my son knows what a "pinguino" is (penguin) and walks around singing songs about stars and maps.

(I promise, vacation pictures are coming soon...I'm just being lazy)

Food Wars

For the past few weeks, dinner has been a nightmare for us. Screaming, throwing food, bribery, time-outs, and lots of tears. The only things Jack will eat without a fight are peanut butter & jelly sandwiches, quesadilla, and fruit. And, bummer for him, I am at the point where I refuse to make him a special meal just because he doesn't like what I make. I realize that he is an only child and it isn't difficult for me to throw together a sandwich for him, but I believe that would spoil him. I spend a lot of energy and time planning menus and cooking food for our family and I think it's only fair that he eats what the rest of the family is eating. Besides, it's not like I make disgusting food that no child would eat. So, from now on, he can eat what I serve or he can go to bed hungry. I am done forcing him to "try" anything. He'll learn eventually, right? RIGHT?

What brought all of this on? The battle of the century took place in our dining room last night. Jack sat at the table for 1 hour and 10 minutes because he refused to eat one bite of sweet & sour turkey meatball. A meatball. Covered in sugary sauce. Not even beef. One bite. I think he would've sat there until midnight if we let him. He ended up going straight from the table to bathtime and then bed. I don't know who "won" the battle...I'm pretty sure he thinks he did. And, another battle this morning. A chocolate chip muffin. Seriously. A muffin with chocolate in it. He ate his grapes, but refuses to eat the muffin. So, I told him that he couldn't eat anything until snack time. So far, we've only had one tantrum over it. (It's only 7:20 am though)

On another, completely unrelated, note....we have a beautiful lilac bush/tree/thing in our backyard and I really wanted to bring some of the flowers in. So, Lonnie cut some off last night and I put them in water in the kitchen. Apparently I am allergic to lilac flowers. As soon as I walked into the kitchen this morning, I started sneezing and couldn't stop. Eyes watering, puffy, congested, the works. Lonnie eventually took the flowers upstairs and I opened the window. Now I'm much better. I am so bummed though...the flowers are so pretty to look at! Guess I'll just have to enjoy them outside for now.

They don't call me "Martha" for nothin'

Our spice cabinet has long been a source of frustration to me. I often buy spices in bulk (WAY cheaper!) and then I have a bunch of baggies laying (lying?) around the spice cabinet and it takes me 20 minutes to find the chili powder. Or oregano. Or cumin. Or cinnamon. Or paprika. You get the point. I've tried "organizing" it before, but it always ends up the same way - a mess full of baggies. So, I finally bit the bullet and purchased spice jars. My wonderful husband bought me a label maker for Valentine's day (that's what happens when you become an old married couple - you buy eachother very practical gifts. And, I couldn't have been more thrilled about the label maker.) and so I used that to label my spice jars. I am so happy with the end result. I need some more jars and I think I might end up getting different "holders" for the jars...but these will do for now. What do you think??? (Oh, and they're alphabetized too. Woohoo!)